The ESPY Awards, Ugh

Oh the Espy Awards.

How everyone hates them but yet all sports fans end up watching them. Damn ESPN for placing upon us this dreadful show and placing it on the day of the year where there are no sports!! How can a sports fan resist this garbage.
I admit, the idea for the show isn’t that bad. They bring athletes from all sports together, mix in some celebrities, and its supposed to be a celebration of the year in sports. It is usually somewhat funny, with memorable hosting appearances by Justin Timberlake, Seth Meyers, and Jamie Foxx, but the awards themselves are truly what is horrendous.

There is almost no award on the show that is incredibly dumb and makes no sense.
Best NFL Player? Didn’t Tom Brady win the NFL MVP? Do you think Aaron Rodgers really cares that he was the ESPY award winner? Congrats on winning the award that should be better named "Best White Quarterback on a Successful NFL Team"

How about Best Team? Now ESPN asks us to compare all teams that have won championships, and say who the best team was. That makes no sense. How are the Dallas Mavericks better then the San Francisco Giants? The only way this determination could be made would be to rate each team’s success in its own sport, and as both were champions, they are therefore both the best. So instead the award goes to Dallas, who satisfied the nation the most by defeating LeBron James and the Heat. This award should be named "Best Team to defeat a hated team or "team that Least pissed off the nation"

There are some entertaining awards such as best game, best play, best upset, and the best breakthrough athlete.

It is just that the awards are often won based upon proximity to the ESPYs. A prime example is the US Women’s Soccer Team winning the ESPY for best play for their goal in the Women’s World Cup. The play was so recent that it didn’t even make the original ballot and was only added after a rush of fans pushed for its nomination. An event that recent is almost impossible to stop from winning.

As are the NFL and NBA. The NFL is the most popular league in the country, and the NBA season ends relatively close to the ESPY awards. This leads to most of the awards going to players/plays/teams in these two major sports.

The award show could be made more entertaining if it was made less.¤.¤.bland. How about awards for Best Uniforms, best pre-game ritual, funniest moment, and most quotable coach. Stuff like this is far more interesting and is far more humorous than the typical *best athletes awards.

So step it up ESPN. We know you are aware that the sports fan will still watch your show, but is there really anyone out there who cares which male college athlete is better. Because after all, if winning the Heisman and College Football Championship clearly doesn’t warrant the award (Cam Newton), then the award is truly stupid as is your show, and this outfit as well...